Why Do Fools Fall in Love?
There was a popular doo-wop song in 1956 called “Why do fools fall in love?” Some of the lyrics go like this:
Why do fools fall in love?
Why does my heart skip this crazy beat?
Because it knows it will reach defeat.
Tell me why, why do fools fall in love?
Love is one of those things in life that cannot be adequately described, much like the sweetness of sugar or the feelings conjured up by a captivating song. Yet there is no end to the number of writers, poets, and mystics who have tried to do just that – tried to describe love. So why is love so important that such efforts are made to describe that which cannot be described but must be experienced to be understood? It must be important. They say the only thing we take with us at the time of death is our love, that love is the only currency accepted in heaven. There is simply nothing of greater value. Great Master explained:
At satsang one day the Master made the statement that going inside and advancing to higher regions depended more on love than upon anything else. A satsangi asked, “Can that love be developed in every disciple?” The Master’s reply was very significant and should be remembered. He said, “No, that love is the gift of the Master.” Then the satsangi asked, “Will the disciple always get it?” The Master said, “Why not, if he works for it? Everyone else pays wages earned, and so if anyone works for the Master, he must draw the wages due him.” It is also highly important to bear in mind that “working for the Master” means primarily to purify your mind and to sit for simran, dhyan, and bhajan. That is really the Master’s work. You are doing him the greatest service when you prepare yourself for going inside.1
For those of us following (or trying to follow) a spiritual path, we understand the value of love and the need to develop love in our spiritual pursuits. After all God is said to be love. This makes love the strongest force in existence. How do we get, or rather become love? Great Master explained that it is through our meditation, our spiritual practice, but that is an ongoing effort that often does not manifest noticeable results quickly. It is a process.
So what about love in our daily (and generally mundane) lives? How does love help us go through the routine of our daily lives? What can we do to help nurture the feeling of love? What does love even feel like when our minds are focused on going through our daily nonspiritual routines? Here are a few reflections on love:
If we are fortunate to fall in love with someone special:
“When you fall in love, you have to be selfless, you cannot think of yourself. You don’t think of your own benefits, but only their happiness. You constantly think of bringing a smile to their face at any cost, even putting your own needs aside. You just focus on making them smile.”2
“For the lover, love is a 24-hour sickness. He doesn’t have a specific time to love, or to think about the Beloved. He is in love 24 hours, no matter what he’s doing, wherever he is.” (Hazur Maharaj Ji)3
The power we feel from love: We are most alive when we're in love. (John Updike)
The essence of love: Love in its essence is spiritual fire. (Seneca)
Open yourself to love: Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. (Rumi)
The lightness of love: I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. (Martin Luther King, Jr.)
When we reflect on it, why would we want to feel anything except love throughout the day? I liked the quote from Rumi – that we should seek the barriers we have built blocking love and remove them. When we feel love within us, our heart sprouts wings, we feel light and happy. All virtues spring from love. We automatically feel compassion and tolerance, and an all-over good feeling. Without love, all the negative tendencies start to take root. Dr. King expressed this well when he said that hate (or any other negative tendency) is too heavy a burden to carry; he decided to stick with love. Love weighs nothing, rather it lifts us up.
Oscar Wilde famously said: “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” We all know how annoying it can be when we lash out at someone and they reply with a loving response. Let us reverse this situation. Mark Twain said: “Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.”
If we can find a place in our heart for love to permanently reside, we will live a happier and more productive life. It is such a simple concept and should not be hard to achieve with a little remembrance and practice. As Great Master said, love is a gift from the master, given as wages for our spiritual practice. The more we meditate, the more love we receive. The more love we receive, the more loving we will become. We can practice being loving just as we practise our meditation. Practice always yields results. Let’s take the high road and let the others fight it out in the mud. Soami Ji expressed the results of love as it filled his heart:
When the sea of love surged in my heart
the fortress of doubts was swept away.
Lust and anger abandoned their home,
worldly hopes and desires left my body.
All greed and attachment were tossed away,
passion and indulgence were cast out
from my mind.
A healthy sense of discrimination now rules
over my body and mind
and peace prevails.4
- With a Great Master in India, p.157
- Unattributed post on a website
- Maharaj Charan Singh, Spiritual Perspectives, Vol.II, #513
- Soami Ji Maharaj, Sar Bachan Poetry, p.39