An Attitude of Selflessness
seva karat hoye nihkaami.
tis kau hot paraapat swaami.One who serves without desire for reward
alone attains the Lord.
Guru Arjan Dev135
Mystics refer to true seva as nishkaam – action devoid of personal motive: selfless service. We don’t calculate what we can gain from serving, we don’t make demands, we don’t put conditions, and we don’t have expectations of praise, acknowledgement, or thanks. Secondly, we should serve without feeling attached to the seva or to the people, decisions, or outcomes related to it.
Clearly this is the ideal. To actually serve with a selfless attitude is very difficult, so the master puts this challenge in context. He explains that today our every action is motivated by some desire – even the desire to seek God is, after all, a desire. He says that selflessness is not something we can practise. Like humility, it doesn’t come just because we have knowledge of it and have accepted it as an ideal. We can work towards it, but like humility it is something that arises naturally within us once we see things in totality, once we realize that we are just a fragment of a fragment in this creation – that we are nothing. This depth of understanding comes only through meditation.
Mystics know we have not yet reached this stage, yet they tell us that our seva should be selfless, without motive. They are pointing to the ideal and urging us to reach for it. They are telling us that we will reach the ideal through the practice of meditation, but we can also try our best to serve in a more selfless and detached way.
Whatever service can be rendered should be rendered. It purifies the mind and ennobles the soul, provided of course that it is performed without self-interest, with a detached mind and without lapsing into discussions or arguments.
Maharaj Charan Singh136
Selflessness
There is an anecdote in the book Heaven on Earth about a
foreign television crew who once visited the Dera and had an opportunity
to observe mitti seva. They asked what the ‘labourers’ were
paid and couldn’t believe it when they were told it was a ‘labour of
love.’ The author writes: “How could they understand that the wages of
this loving seva, done with humility and dedication, are the one
compassionate glance of the master, the one brief glimpse of his radiant
face, for which the disciple would sacrifice everything!”137
True seva is selfless because it is motivated by love, and the instinct of love is to give to another without thinking of oneself. Hazur explains, “When you absolutely blend yourself into the love of another person, then you forget what you are.”138 When we forget what we are, we automatically become self-less.
To love somebody means to give yourself without expecting anything in return…. We are losing our own identity and our individuality and just merging into another being. We have no expectation then.
Maharaj Charan Singh139
Over the years we’ve probably witnessed numerous examples of seva done with utter selflessness. Sant Mat books are full of such stories, and we feel inspired when we read them. But the reality is that selflessness doesn’t come to us easily. Once, a team from a large city was involved in a months-long project at the Dera. Members of the team worked with great diligence and came to the Dera frequently during that period to complete the work. When the project was ready to be handed over, all members of the team were present at the Dera, and they wanted to know if the master would consider giving them sevadars’ parshad. When their request was taken to the relevant person, his response was, “Did they not get the seva?”
His comment has deep meaning. Seva is the parshad. Seva itself is the gift – it enriches us with the master’s blessings and with a deep love for him.
People become rich by getting something from somebody. In Sant Mat you become rich by giving. The more you give, the more it grows, the richer you are in love and devotion.
Maharaj Sawan Singh140
Great Master would say that if we give but expect something in return, we are simply “lending money on interest.”141 Expectations create a barter relationship with the Lord. Hazur would constantly remind us that in love there’s no calculation:
You don’t think: will I get some advantage from doing this seva? You don’t calculate, at the end of a day of seva, that I have done so much and will therefore get so much. The benefit of seva comes automatically.142
We are conditioned by the world to think, what’s in this for me? or, I deserve something for the effort I’ve put into this. So it is natural to bring an unconscious attitude of entitlement to seva. We may expect to get the seva of our choice; proximity to the master; an office with a phone, a special title, an invitation to sevadars’ parshad; or at the very least, respect and appreciation for our seva. It is only the selfless sevadar who says, “I’m happy to do any seva you give me.”
Sometimes sevadars do a substantial amount of seva over the years, but then they may have an expectation of lasting recognition and closeness to the master in return. If they don’t get it they may feel hurt. Unfulfilled expectations can bring pain and disappointment.
This is the duty of one who does seva, namely, that he pulverizes the mind with much effort and labour, and even then if the satguru does not accept it, he does not give up humility but is contented with his will. Not that he loses faith if he renders some little service and it is not accepted.
Soami Ji Maharaj143
Once, a few sevadars were hand-picked to do a specialized seva, and their training started. Feeling exceptional, they made a request to their head sevadar: “When the master visits, can our team get a meeting with him?” The head sevadar was taken aback. “You haven’t even started your seva yet!” he exclaimed.
A lover never calculates, he just gives.
Maharaj Charan Singh144
Sometimes the spirit of selfless seva gets forgotten when we start to compare ourselves with other sevadars. At times we look at each other’s apparent privileges and feel: he got this accommodation, I did not; she’s allowed to sit in front during satsang, I am not allowed; he gets to attend this meeting, I deserve it more; and so on. Even if we hadn’t expected something earlier, now we do, because someone else got that particular privilege.
There is a parable in the Bible about comparisons, expectations, and rewards. A landowner went out early in the morning to hire labourers for his vineyard, and he agreed to pay them a day’s wage. A few hours later he went out and saw other labourers standing in the marketplace. He asked them as well to work in his vineyard. He did this twice more during the day, each time agreeing to pay the labourers a full day’s wage. Later in the day he saw more idle workers in the marketplace and he engaged their services as well.
At the end of the day he paid all the labourers the same full day’s wage. The labourers who had been hired first thing in the morning got upset with the landowner, complaining that they had toiled all day in the heat to earn a day’s wage, while those who had been hired at the end of the day had worked for just a few short hours, yet they had been given the same amount of money. They felt this was unfair.
The landowner gently explained that he had done them no wrong; he had committed to giving them a day’s wage, to which they agreed, and he had kept his word. “If I wish to give to this last man the same as to you,” he told them, “it is my right to give as I please.”145
While this parable refers to the reward of spiritual progress, it can also be applied to understanding the real rewards of seva. The landowner went to the marketplace over and over again throughout the day, literally drawing people in to serve him – perhaps just so he could reward them. Then he gave of his wealth in abundance, more than some of them seemingly deserved.
This is exactly what the master does. He draws us into seva just so he has the opportunity to give to us. How much he gives to each one, and when, is a mystery to us. We cannot comprehend his ways, so they may sometimes seem unfair. But comparisons and expectations have no place in love. With this simple story, Christ illustrates the contrast between the large-heartedness with which the master gives and the calculating way we have been conditioned to receive.
The sage is like Heaven and Earth.
To him none is especially dear,
Nor is there anyone he disfavours.
He gives and gives without condition,
Offering his treasure to everyone.
Tao Te Ching146
In any case, the real rewards of seva are enormous. The biggest reward is that seva increases our love for the master. The reward for seva is immediate. But the reward is spiritual; it is inner, not outer, and therefore not always apparent to us. We covet tangible rewards – minor perks and privileges that have no spiritual significance and are far less valuable than what we really receive for our seva.
The greatest reward in seva is the contentment and happiness that you feel within, that you get an opportunity to serve someone…. It doesn’t make you so happy if anybody makes you happy, but it definitely makes you very happy when you are in a position to make someone else happy, and that is the real seva.
Maharaj Charan Singh147
Ultimately, all our worldly relationships are based on self-interest, but the master’s love for us is selfless and limitless. If we want to ask something of him, why limit ourselves to inconsequential outer rewards?
From the master, ask for the master, for when he grants you that, you will get everything with him. Why ask charity from a giver instead of the giver himself?
Maharaj Sawan Singh148
Detachment
The master frequently reminds us to be objective. To be objective in
seva means to give it our best while always keeping our objective in
sight: to do our seva with selflessness and to remember that all our
actions should lead us to our ultimate goal, to connect ourselves with
the Shabd within. This requires focus and a certain level of
detachment.
jag maaheen nyaare raho, lage raho hari dhyaan;
prathvi par dehi rahai, parmesar mein praan.Remain detached from the world;
keep your attention always upon the Lord.
While your body remains here on earth,
keep your soul absorbed in the Lord.
Charan Das149
But our emotions tend to shift in seva; when things go our way we feel happy, and when they don’t we may feel upset. The issue is not so much that seva goes up and down – that is its nature. The issue is that our state of mind goes up and down with it, because we are not detached from the results of our actions. So we can ask ourselves: Are we looking for results? Do we want things always to go our way? If this is the case, perhaps we’ve forgotten to keep a sense of proportion and balance, to stay objective.
We have to live in the world and yet be not of it. We should do our duty in every sphere of life, remembering the true nature of things here.
Maharaj Charan Singh150
If we love our seva, how do we prevent ourselves from getting attached to it? Hazur often gave the analogy of a bee sipping honey from a cup. He would say that if the bee sits at the edge of the cup and sips carefully, it can enjoy the taste of the honey and fly away with dry wings. But if it dives deep into the honey, it may enjoy the taste for a little while but will eventually drown in it.
This is how it works, not just in life but in seva, too. Drawn to the joy of seva we may dive into it with everything we have, only to find ourselves overwhelmed and drowning – perhaps even doing seva at the expense of meditation and other priorities. To sit at the edge of the cup doesn’t mean doing less seva or not getting deeply involved. It means maintaining a certain mental and emotional balance, not being consumed by the seva.
Work, O friend, with a detached heart. Expect nothing in return, and know how to remain faithful to the master you have chosen. That is the only thing you require.
Ibn ‘Ata’ Allah151
Seva is one of the tools the master uses to uproot us from our deep entanglements in the world and transplant us in the Shabd within. But seva only helps to uproot us – the real uprooting happens during meditation. We should not lose sight of this and become too attached to seva. In a letter to a disciple Hazur writes:
Regarding your concern for your seva, please understand that we need not get ourselves attached to any particular seva…. Seva is just like a ladder and we are to use it for climbing on the roof. If we become too much attached to the steps of the ladder, what have we gained…. The satsangs, darshan of the master, and seva are the means to create a better environment for us to meditate. Ultimately our meditation, being the supreme seva and the means of acquiring faith and spiritual wealth, pleases the master the most.152
The first and foremost mechanism for creating detachment in seva is daily meditation. Meditation will saturate the mind with the divine melody – or simply bring a feeling of inner peace and an awareness of the master’s presence – to such an extent that the mind will no longer care about the small ups and downs of seva.
Beauty lies in working without attachment. I do not mean calculated or reasoned detachment, but detachment which becomes a part of life. This is possible only when the mind is under control and saturated with the sweet music within.
Maharaj Sawan Singh153
Secondly, we can approach seva with the understanding that no seva belongs to us. Possessiveness is an aspect of worldly love, but it has no place in seva. When we start thinking in terms of ‘my’ seva, we lose the essential ingredients that make seva what it is – giving, caring, and sharing.
Sometimes when we love a particular seva, we may be tempted to cling to it. It will serve us well if, instead, we approach our seva with the attitude that we are dispensable. Then, instead of hoarding our seva, we can start training a replacement for ourselves as soon as possible. If we do this, if the time comes for us to leave our role, the transition to the next sevadar can happen smoothly and gracefully, and the seva will not suffer. We can love our seva and still make ourselves dispensable. We can love our seva without being possessive about it.
We should not get attached to things. We should use them thinking they are a gift from the Lord, that they are not mine – they belong to the Lord. And if he takes something away, well, it was his property, he has taken it away – how can I grumble?
Maharaj Charan Singh154
Thirdly, we can approach seva with the mindset that we may have to leave it at any moment, perhaps without notice. Sometimes when we are asked to step out of a role, we may get so upset that we withdraw from seva altogether. At such times it may be helpful to ask ourselves: Is there any reason to take this personally? We know from the start that there is a rotation of roles in seva. Rotation exists so we don’t start identifying ourselves too much with a particular position. It keeps us mentally prepared to let go of the seva when it is time to move on.
When the time comes to give up a seva we enjoy, it helps to practise clear thinking. We can remind ourselves that no seva lasts forever. Seva is a gift from the master, given as and when he sees it is to our best benefit. He may take it away whenever he chooses. Instead of being upset, we can focus on being of service in some other way.
While it can be difficult to let go of a seva, giving up a leadership role can be more painful, perhaps because we often identify ourselves with the particular seva. Seva is constantly changing – today we are in this role, tomorrow we may be in that role, and on the third day we may have no role at all. But it is only the position that has been taken away, not seva itself. We feel hurt and upset only if we allow ourselves to become attached to the position instead of serving selflessly, purely out of love for the master.
The master has told us never to get used to a position. A senior sevadar once had the difficult job of telling four sevadars they needed to rotate out of their leadership roles. He was amazed at how gracious and wonderful they all were. One of them told him that Baba Ji had said that a leader needs to be ready to step down the moment he or she is asked to do so.
jau raaj deh ta kavan badaa’i.
jau bheek mangaaveh ta kya ghat jaa’i.If you gave me an empire,
what glory would be in it for me;
If you made me beg for charity,
what would it take away from me?
Namdev155
Ultimately, no matter how much we enjoy our seva, the day will come when we will have to retire from seva completely. For a devoted sevadar this can be very painful. It takes great spiritual maturity to make such a decision or to accept it with grace when someone makes the decision for us. At such times we can turn to meditation for solace.
Finally, we can develop a more detached frame of mind if we approach the ups and downs of seva with a slight emotional distance. There is a story about a disciple called Dada who served his master, Baba, with a single-minded purpose that inspired awe in the other disciples. If the master complimented him, Dada would respond with “Ha, Baba,” meaning, “Yes, master.”, But if the master reprimanded or criticized him, Dada would respond in exactly the same way, “Ha, Baba.” Fame and shame were the same to him, particularly when the master was the source of both. Over the years his ego had burned away. For Dada, it was all grace.156
In a beautiful letter, Baba Jaimal Singh advises the future master Maharaj Sawan Singh to develop an attitude of detachment. We can draw inspiration from his words:
Always remember these three points: Do not feel elated even if you receive the kingship of fourteen realms, because it would be false and transitory – if you love false things, you will be deceived. If such a sovereignty is taken away, do not feel depressed, because he who gave it took it away. It belonged to him and it was unreal. However much respect or criticism someone may offer, neither be pleased with the respect and praise nor offended by the criticism. Always remain happy and content wherever the Lord is pleased to place you.157
Over the years, both meditation and conscious intention help us build some detachment towards seva. Even a little detachment can save us from a lot of personal pain. A sense of detachment also makes us more flexible. A sevadar once said that in seva we should be ready to turn mid-stride. This means that if a project we are working on is going in a certain direction but the master or the head sevadar suddenly tells us to move in the opposite direction, we have the flexibility – the mental willingness – to pivot and change course in a moment. This can happen only if we have some level of detachment.
Slowly we learn that we can love our seva and at the same time feel detached from it. As we come to understand the true meaning of selfless seva, we realize that seva is a journey, and our master is urging us to let go of the reins, enjoy the journey, and allow seva to take us where it will.
Whatever you do, whatever you eat,
whatever you offer in sacrifice,
whatever you give away,
whatever austerity you practice –
Do these as an offering to me, O Arjuna.
Thus you will be free from the bondage
of actions yielding good and evil fruits.
Bhagavad Gita 9.27–28158