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2. Being a Teenager Today
3. What’s Coming Up
4. Drugs, Alcohol, and Nicotine

Maybe you haven’t ever smoked weed and don’t want to. Maybe you take a few tokes at a party. Perhaps you’ve never drunk alcohol or just don’t like it. Maybe you like to drink socially, at dinner or hanging with friends.

Perhaps you know someone who depends on Ritalin to get through exams. Xanax to calm their nerves. Drugs to make them feel brilliant and special. Laughing gas to feel kinda crazy.

Maybe every one of these things – and the many other ways to alter the chemistry of your brain – scare the living daylights outta you. How can a teen decide how to act in a world full of possibilities that may be all around you but are dangerous, illegal, or unhealthy?

Remember, you always have a choice in what you do. You can say no, make a different decision, party in another way. Yep, peer pressure doesn’t make that easy, but you do have a choice.

Maybe you wonder if you can have fun without all the damage. You hear someone brag about tripping on mushrooms, or your parents have a prescription to calm their nerves. They seem fine. You wonder what the big deal is, as long as no one gets addicted.

We may think we’re not going to get addicted, but we do know that every addict started with casual or occasional use.

Let’s not talk about full-blown addiction here, because that’s a whole book, a life unraveled, time in rehab, families undone, health and happiness shattered, at least for a while. Let’s talk instead about believing drugs or alcohol help you manage your life. If you regularly drink alcohol, smoke, vape, or use drugs recreationally, there’s a pretty good (bad?) chance that you will at least become dependent on them.

It’s because your brain’s still developing. If there’s ever a good time to mess with your brain, before your mid-20s isn’t it. (See the chapter “Beginning with the Teen Brain.”)

For example, teens who smoke weed regularly (at least once a week) are much more likely to develop dependency than people who start as adults. Irritability, difficulty sleeping, anxiety, lack of appetite, restlessness, and mood swings are signs of this dependency.

Plus, when anyone – teen or not – gets stoned, they’re a dangerous driver. Marijuana screws up a driver’s reaction time, coordination, and judgment. You’ve heard,

“Don’t drink and drive.”
Add
“Don’t drive high.”

And don’t ever get in a car if you suspect the driver’s high.

Sometimes weed is advertised and sold – legally, in some places – as a ‘natural’ or ‘organic’ plant. Sounds harmless, even good for you. But no one thinks that smoking ‘organic’ tobacco is healthy! Or walking through ‘natural’ poison oak! Don’t let these easy labels fool you. Weed is far from harmless, and regular users can become dependent on it.

With alcohol use, one in ten teens who start drinking at age 17 or 18 develop dependence. Forty percent – that’s almost half – of teens who start drinking before 15 get addicted later in life. They become alcoholics. Their developing brains get hammered at exactly the wrong time of life. Plus, teens who consume alcohol are 50 times more likely to use cocaine than teens who don’t.

Honestly, there’s no upside with drugs or alcohol. Realistically, though, people around you use them. Yes, you want to fit in, relax, have fun. Normal stuff. But think about the risks. Actions have consequences. Don’t say yes when getting high goes against your values.

But how do you say no without it being a big deal? Maybe these tips will help:

• If you carry around a cup/glass/bottle full of what you want to drink, fewer people will offer you booze. Wandering a party with a glass full of soda or mineral water might be just the ticket.
• When you turn down alcohol or drugs, be confident and brief. Don’t try to justify yourself, don’t preach, don’t rattle on. “Nah, man, I’m good.” “No, thanks. What do you think of this music?”
• If you’re pressed for more explanation, continue to be stingy with words. You’ll feel more in control. A conversation could go like this:

  “So why don’t you drink?”
  “I just don’t like to.” (shoulder shrug)
  OR “I don’t like the taste.” (another topic change)
  Occasionally, someone might get in your face, maybe saying,
  “How do you know you don’t like smoking weed (or whatever) if you haven’t tried it?”

  First, recognize this as an aggressive question. That person is probably trying to push you around, at least a little. You don’t have to answer every question you’re asked. You may want to just walk away.

  But if you do choose to respond, you might need some internal toughness. (Note: Tough doesn’t have to be mean. Speak calmly.) Perhaps this would work (firm + casual = more effective):

  “I don’t have to try everything in the world to know what I don’t want.”

  OR “It goes against my values. I don’t need to explain myself to you.”

• Be firm inside yourself about what you really want. Choosing not to get high or stoned is a solid decision. Hold onto it.
• Remember that your real friends will support you, often even agree with you. You can be honest, but there’s still no need to lecture or moralize. If someone pushes you to do something you’re not comfortable with, s/he is not your friend. Friends respect boundaries.

Lighting up. Vaping. Juuling. By any name, it’s dangerous. And addicting.

You know the biggest problems – the cancers (almost anywhere in your body), heart disease, strokes. Maybe you’ve heard about the reduced fertility in men, ruined teeth, damaged vision, risk of diabetes. And that’s just the beginning of what could be a loonngg list.

Perhaps you’ve heard that vaping is less harmful than smoking cigarettes. Less addictive. And maybe you think it’s more hip, more fun.

Don’t be fooled by the less harmful/addictive argument.

All brands of e-cigarettes carry plenty of nicotine and health risks in those vapors, flavored or not. A Google search of all the risks could take you into old age. You could find out facts like this: one Juul pod has about the same amount of nicotine as a whole pack of cigarettes! And the “more hip, more fun” part? Plenty of teens disagree.

Really, who wants to become dependent on something that’s so harmful?

Ever heard of stunted emotional growth? Perhaps you know someone who’s really immature for their age. Who’s clueless about how to act in social situations and doesn’t seem to know or care about other people’s feelings. You wish they’d just grow up. And chances are they will.

Unless they start regularly using drugs or alcohol. Then their odds of growing up emotionally go way down.

Do you ever feel uncomfortable with groups of other teens? Like everyone else is hanging out with someone cool or talking about something interesting and you don’t belong? (Almost everyone feels this sometimes!) And then did you or maybe someone you know decide that drugs or alcohol would help you relax and have fun?

That happens a lot, but it has a huge downside.

Because drinking and drugging your way through an awkward social situation stunts your emotional growth. If you lean on these things to help you out, you won’t develop the skills to help yourself. It’s like breaking your arm and keeping it in a sling forever. If you don’t do the hard work of eventually going without the sling, exercising gently, getting range of motion back, you’ll be stuck with an arm that doesn’t work.

You want to develop emotional maturity. You want to be able to relax, make conversation, understand what people feel. To control your temper. To value yourself and have realistic expectations of other people.

All of these things are harder to figure out, harder to be, if you use drugs or alcohol. Emotionally immature people feel helpless and especially struggle when times get tough. In what can become a terrible cycle, they often drink and drug themselves more in an effort to feel better or forget.

And then things can get much, much worse. The physical effects vary, but none of them are good. Heart trouble. Liver damage. Hallucinations. Depression. Fatigue. Acne. Nose bleeds. Rotten teeth. Anxiety. Confusion. Trouble talking. Just for starters.

With your body, heart, mind, and spirit connected, make smart choices. Take care of your friends and yourself. You matter. A lot.

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