Not Quite Here, Not Quite Gone

The bell within me chimes
calling me back to my own country.
Desire paints no more pictures
of what I want from this place.

Earthbound, reaching for the Light inside,
One moment, my world is awash with Song,
the next, it is a howling valley of emptiness.

My Beloved calls, but I’m still in chains.
Paid debts fall through the hourglass,
setting me closer to freedom, one by one.
I’m not quite here, not quite gone.

My hunger no longer sits at this table.
Sweet saffron bread served on fine china
tastes like dust in my mouth.
My home with gardens and a view
feels like a roadhouse in some foreign country.

Here, even love feels like loneliness.
No one here can really be mine.
I play my part but I don’t belong.
I’m not quite here, not quite gone.

Mystics say, these are the welcome signs,
like a seagull perched on the mast at dawn
proving land is not far off, though still unseen
by the sailor lost at sea.

Comfort comes in the dark,
where soul soars over the River of Light
that runs through the starry deep
in the luminous Voice of the One
that calls sailors home in the night.

It comes down to this –
live your life like the mystic says.
so you leave here with your love,
nothing more.

Become a lantern of longing
that lights your way in the dark.
Stay attuned to the sacred Song
that gathers the gold dust of your soul
from the dream stuff of the world.
With every step you take,
homesickness haunts you more.
The colours of your history
begin to fade away
like watercolor paintings
left out in the sun and rain.

It takes courage to walk this road
from darkness into Light.
You journey this dusk alone
except for the One within –
only lovers of leaving follow.

But deep in these shadowlands,
there is a place along the path
where the gloom thins into mist,
then rises and drifts away.

And a love inside,
so clear and clean and bright
that you always hoped was there,
breaks through your despair
and dazzles you with Light!

Remember, blessings await you
beyond your wildest dreams,
as you journey on and on,
not quite here, not quite gone.