After initiation, many of us begin our spiritual practice with eagerness and excitement. Surrounding ourselves with the comfort and familiarity of seva and people with similar values, we feel encouraged and emboldened to continue our practice as taught by the Master.
However, we may soon start to feel annoyed by the very aspects that once encouraged us, and angry at things that happen in our lives. Negative feelings like doubt and resentment all slowly chip away at the love and happiness we thought we had for the path. The feeling of disenchantment is something some seekers and disciples go through at some point on the path. The true test of faith is in how each disciple chooses to deal with these feelings of disenchantment, negativity and confusion.
Do we have the determination and courage to fight against the sway of the mind and its many tricks? The Master promised us union with the Lord, and dealing with everyday situations and struggles is part of the challenging journey towards this union.
Great Master explains in Spiritual Gems that “the Master aims at reforming his disciples and curing them of their bad habits and wicked deeds so that the spirit may shine in its purity. At first he points out mistakes in gentleness and with love. If this fails, then he adopts a less gentle course and if even that does not serve its purpose, then he applies drastic remedies. In short, he is bent on reforming.” He further says, “He does not rest until he has taken the spirit of his disciple to its source. Even if the pupil deserts him or becomes hostile toward him, or wishes to injure him, he does not slacken his efforts.”
With this understanding, to overcome these feelings of disenchantment and negativity, we must persevere with meditation regardless of what our mind is telling us. Great Master explains that if we persevere with our spiritual practice, we will eventually overcome our negative feelings. Such is the healing effect of the sound current.
The only thing we can do to provide shelter for our worn-out spirit is to anchor our self to the Shabd within. This will provide us with blessed relief from the ever-wandering mind that is prone to negative feelings and thoughts. We must trust that the Master will do his duty of protecting us here and hereafter, and never doubt his mercy and grace.
Our duty is simply to sit in meditation, repeating the five holy names. Love and faith will develop slowly from continued practice of meditation and will seep into every part of our life. The love and faith that we once assumed was lost will return for they never really left us. The mind was simply distracted by other things.
As we keep our face towards the light, our difficulties and deficiencies will diminish with the help of the divine Shabd. No one can say just how long it will take for us to get home, but we definitely will reach there.
Thus, we must not lose heart with negative feelings such as disenchantment, anger, resentment and jealousy that assail us. We must simply fight courageously against the mind, as it is not stronger than the sound current, and the Master is always with us.