The Paradox of Effort

Effort is a key component for a disciple on a spiritual path. We can apply a bottom-up and top-down perspective to effort. Effort is an integral component to make progress. It is our effort that counts, our effort that pleases the Master and our effort the invokes the grace of the Lord.

Yet, from a divine perspective, what can our puny efforts count for? It is all divine grace that grants us a human birth wherein we are initiated by a true living master and it is this grace that prompts us to turn our attention inward through our spiritual practice. Nevertheless, as spiritual aspirants, we strive to be good human beings and remain in the will of the Lord. As initiates, we have taken the vows of adopting a lacto-vegetarian diet, abstaining from alcohol and mind-altering substances, leading a moral life, and practising two-and-a-half hours of daily meditation as taught to us at initiation. We can examine the scope of our efforts in each of these endeavours.

What prevents us from becoming a better human being? When we are triggered we react by judging others. Despite the best of intentions and knowing better, we end up hurting others. Our ego – our need to be right insists we are heard or praised. How do we become better human beings?

In ego you want other people to love you; in love you want to love another person. You want to submit to another person. You want to eliminate your individuality in another being. In ego you want other people to respect you, to love you, to praise you. The ego makes you think you’re much higher than everybody. In love there’s always submission.
_{Maharaj Charan Singh, Spiritual Perspectives, Vol. I}

What effort is involved in remaining in the will of the Lord? In uncontrollable circumstances, we are disappointed when our health, careers, even our cooking, does not turn out as we had hoped. Our effort invites us to let go of expectations and attachment to specific outcomes. We are invited to give up the fallacy that we know what is best for us and surrender instead to a destiny that is, in fact, playing out in accordance with divine wisdom.

We are happy with whatever he gives us; we are contented to go through our life. We just see the drama of our life as a spectator in this creation. So we are contented with whatever he gives us. In other words, we live in the will of the Father – that is also contentment.
_{Maharaj Charan Singh, Spiritual Perspectives, Vol. III}

In our meditation practice, where do we focus our effort? As disciples, the guidance given to us is to sit, start our simran, and let go. Whether we fall asleep or our mind wanders is irrelevant. All that is required of us is to gently pull the attention back to the task of repeating the words as mindfully as possible. We are not judged on our ability to do this. This is simply how effort and grace play out in our meditation. When you try to feel his presence, he makes his presence felt.

So you can say, “I am doing the meditation,” provided you are doing it. But when you really do it, then you won’t say, “I am doing it.” “I” only comes when we don’t do it. When we truly meditate, then “I” just disappears. Then we realize His grace, that but for Him how could we ever think or even attend to it. Then there is no “I”, there is nothing but gratefulness – everything in gratitude. Then we know our insignificance. The more we attend to our meditation, the nearer we are to the goal, the more we realize our insignificance.
_{Maharaj Charan Singh, Die to Live}

This shedding of ego clarifies the significance of our effort. At our physical level, our ego needs to be directed towards trying. Once we let go of our individual identity, the question of effort doesn’t arise because the one who strives no longer exists. Only the Lord and his grace exist.

All effort circles back to letting go and holding on to nothing. The phrase ‘letting go’ has a lightness, an ease, a softness, a serenity, a simplicity, and a bliss to it. It invites us to unclench our fists with respect to the attachments we are holding on to so tightly. It allows us to relax our jaw as circumstances unfold. It allows us to draw in a breath of self-compassion over our shortcomings.

In response to a disciple’s question about what one could offer his spiritual teacher, the teacher replied, “He doesn’t take anything from the disciple,” and then he added, “but he doesn’t leave the disciple with anything either.”