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Valuing the Women in Our Lives

A woman is the full circle.
Within her is the power to create,
nurture and transform.
_{Diane Mariechild}

A woman has many facets, and she plays many roles in life, each one special and unique.

Women play a key role in upholding our culture. Through the ages, women have told their children stories which they heard from their mothers; mythology and folklore exist today mainly because women have upheld the oral tradition. From the folk songs we sing to the traditional dances we perform, from the clothes we wear and the food we eat to the rituals we perform at festivals and holidays – women play a key role in passing down our rich heritage from one generation to the next. It is through these traditions that women perpetuate the values that hold family and society together.

At times of war, when hundreds of thousands of men are eliminated at one time, it is the women who cope, who despite great hardship hold the community together. It is the women who tend the sick and wounded, take care of the elderly, provide for their children, and train the next generation to take over. Women create continuity down the generations; they are the very backbone of a secure society.

The fastest way to change society is to mobilize the women of the world.
_{Charles Malik, former President, United Nations General Assembly}

As more and more women in India exercise their right to vote, their voices are beginning to count and their issues are being heard. Today, women are seen in all walks of public life – in the administrative services, in the police force, as lawyers, judges and powerful politicians. Women in the media are visible examples of the change women can bring about in society. Women are seen in large numbers in the area of social work. Many government and non-government organizations are headed by women who care enough to bring about change on issues ranging from the welfare of our children to the future of our environment.

In addition to their crucial role in society, women play an integral role in the economy. There are many homes that would not survive without the earning potential of its women. In days gone by, what a woman could do was somewhat determined and limited by her physical strength. It took strength to hunt an animal, to pull a plough or to fight a war. Therefore, quite naturally, a woman’s role evolved around tasks that were equally important but needed less strength.

But the world has changed. We are now in the Global Information Age and physical strength is no longer a primary factor in most jobs. There is almost nothing a woman cannot do if she is given equal opportunity. In India today, women are doctors, lawyers, judges, politicians, entrepreneurs, engineers and scientists. Women are excelling in art, in sports and in the media. Women are in the defence forces and in the police force. Today, a woman can lead a country, drive a tractor, or pilot a spacecraft to the moon!

Increasingly, research studies are proving that women add a very unique value in the workplace.¹ Studies show that women leaders are persuasive and willing to take risks; they can be assertive, make quick decisions, articulate a vision and rally a team around it; they are empathetic, flexible and have strong interpersonal skills. Women are able to multi-task effectively. Women tend to bring others around to their point of view because they genuinely understand and care about where others are coming from so that the people they are leading feel more understood, supported and valued. They tend to be more stable, less turf-conscious and seek less personal glory. They are more likely to share information with their employees rather than dispensing it on a need-to-know basis.

Women get high ratings on exactly those skills needed to succeed in the Global Information Age, where teamwork and partnering are so important.
_{Rosabeth Moss Kanter, Harvard Business School Professor}

More and more companies are now making increasing use of the feminine style of management, not just because it is ethical to employ an equal number of women or because they have a legal obligation to do so, but because it benefits their business.

Imagine what life would be like without a grandmother’s childhood stories, a mother’s selfless love, or a wife’s lifelong companionship. What would life be like without a sister’s teasing affection, or a daughter to shower us with love and hugs? Nurturing and caring, full of joy and love, brimming over with all the feminine qualities so special to them ... what would our families be like without women?

God has entrusted woman with a special responsibility, a special gift. She is janani: one who has the unique ability to renew life on earth as she bears children.

That special power of loving that belongs to a woman is seen most clearly when she becomes a mother. Motherhood is a gift of God to women.
_{Mother Teresa}

A woman bears children with joy, despite the tremendous risk, physical pain and emotional upheaval involved. And she nurtures her children selflessly. When there is a shortage of food, she feeds her children and goes hungry herself; when they get hurt, she is there to bandage and kiss it better; when they are sick, she stays up night after night to nurse them back to health. If they are unhappy or in pain, she can never be at ease. Day after day, tirelessly, a mother pays attention to her children’s well-being: what they are eating, how they are growing, who their friends are, how they are feeling. Even if they were to turn their back on her, a mother’s love would remain constant.

Who is it that loves me and will love me forever with an affection which no chance, no misery, no crime of mine can take away? It is you, my mother.
_{Thomas Carlyle}

It has been rightly said: there is no earthly love which is as pure and as selfless as a mother’s love for her children.

God could not be everywhere, and therefore he created mothers.
_{Jewish proverb}

A woman is the child’s first and arguably most influential teacher. In most cultures around the world, women spend the maximum time with their children, especially in the early years. A woman teaches her children to speak and understand their native language, their ‘mother tongue’. She helps them with their schoolwork. She teaches them the most important values of life. She moulds and influences their character, habits and personality; she influences their beliefs, biases and prejudices.

One good mother is worth a hundred schoolmasters.
_{George Herbert}

An educated, happy and secure mother imparts not just academic teaching, but also a sense of well-being and security to her children.

The future destiny of the child is always the work of the mother.
_{Napoleon Bonaparte}

My mother was the most beautiful woman ... All I am I owe to my mother ... I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.
_{George Washington}

Women quite effortlessly bring warmth, love, cleanliness, order and beauty to a home. Women teach us courtesy and good manners. Women show us how to communicate effectively within the family and with the larger community in which we live.

What is truly indispensable for the conduct of life has been taught us by women – the small rules of courtesy, the actions that win us the warmth of deference of others; the words that assure us a welcome; the attitudes that must be varied to mesh with character or situation; all social strategy.
_{Rémy de Gourmont}

Women are loyal companions to their husbands in good times and in bad. Not only is a woman loving toward her own parents, she forges strong bonds with her husband’s family as well. Women make an effort to reach out to the extended family and they unite families by creating a strongly woven tapestry of relationships. Women nurture not just children, they also take care of the elderly and the sick.

A woman is the key to a happy and peaceful home. In fact, it is a woman who makes a home.

Traditionally, there are certain personality traits which are considered to be masculine: strength, aggression, independence, territorialism, dominance, leadership, rationalism, courage. Similarly there are certain traits which are considered to be essentially feminine: intuition, patience, gentleness, empathy, tolerance, expressiveness, kindness, sacrificial love.

This is not to say that men have only masculine traits and women have only feminine traits; they both have masculine and feminine traits in different proportions. What determines the proportions? One factor is genetic. Scientific studies have now proved, for example, that because of the way a woman’s brain is wired, she is more intuitive. Similarly, a male is naturally more territorial, as has been displayed over time in both human and animal behaviour.

Another factor is social conditioning. Young children are taught that “boys don’t cry.” From the very outset, young men are trained and conditioned to be aggressive and to repress qualities like kindness and empathy, because these are perceived to be more ‘weak’ and ‘feminine’. Similarly, girls are taught from childhood that meekness and endless sacrifice are desirable and expected traits in women. If a man exhibits a particular behaviour he is called confident; if a woman exhibits the same behaviour she is considered unattractively aggressive. Over time, such relentless social conditioning cements certain masculine and feminine qualities in us.

The truth, however, is that the most successful and fulfilled men are those who are most ‘whole’; those who have been allowed to develop both their masculine and feminine sides. The same is true of women.

Another reality is that, in nature, feminine qualities are essential to balance masculine qualities. If there were only masculine qualities – in an individual, in a nation, or in the world – there would be more war, aggression and chaos than currently exists. Women are not just valuable, their feminine qualities are essential for creating harmony and balance in society.

Women add immeasurable value to our families, to our communities, and to the world. We could not live a complete and enriched life without them.

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