Humility
Seva is always done with love and humility…. Love makes you humble. Love makes you meek…. Humility is part of love. Love is part of seva.
Maharaj Charan Singh109
In Hazur Maharaj Ji’s time, a well-to-do disciple once arrived at the Beas train station. As it happened, there was no conveyance and no porter available to handle her considerable baggage. She was pondering her plight when a plainly dressed man approached her and offered to carry her bags to the Dera. He walked with her, carrying her bags for a mile or so before a car pulled up and offered to help. There were already other passengers in the car, so once her bags were loaded there was room in the car only for her. The man who had helped her told her that he knew and trusted the driver, so she should go ahead with him while he would walk to the Dera. When the lady got to the Dera she told the driver she’d forgotten to pay the kind man for carrying her baggage. The driver laughed and replied, “Ma’am, he doesn’t want or need any payment. He is a very wealthy and dedicated sevadar.”
This sevadar carried a stranger’s heavy baggage and walked with her for a mile, but never once mentioned to her that he was anything other than a helper. Such humility is rare.
If we do not take a humble and meek attitude before doing a good deed, do not retain it while doing and do not consider it a gift by the grace of the Lord and the master after it is done, it is snatched from our hands by pride amidst our rejoicings.
Maharaj Sawan Singh110
Baba Ji often says in satsang, “sevak au hai jida sir jhukda hai nimarta de naal,” meaning: the true sevadar is one whose head is bowed with humility. In this powerful ego-challenging endeavour called seva, each one of us has experienced many cycles of react and regret, learning the lessons of humility each time.
Mystics tell us that the whole purpose of physical seva is to make us humble:
The saints initiated the system of service with a view to teaching the mind humility and in order to eliminate its egotism.
Maharaj Charan Singh111
Saints epitomize the quality of humility. During an evening meeting at the Dera, Baba Ji was asked how he sees himself. He replied simply: “A sevadar.” This is the amazing thing about all masters: despite being extraordinary human beings and practising mystics, they consider their role to be that of sevadar, a servant of the sangat:
I am the servant of the Lord, and the Lord is in everyone.
Maharaj Charan Singh112
By contrast, in today’s world, individual achievement, success, and wealth are glorified. Humility is looked upon as being servile and weak – something from another era. But mystics tell us that humility is a great strength:
Humility is not weakness. It is such a powerful thing that all the powers of the world have to bow to it. Man conquers himself with pridelessness. No one can defeat a prideless man, as behind his humility is acting the secret power of the Lord. Humility is an ornament of great men.
Maharaj Sawan Singh113
In our quest to be good sevadars, we try to be humble as best we know how – outwardly. We may bow before fellow sevadars and the master. We may refer to ourselves as ‘humble servants of the master’ – even though our actual behaviour may be quite the opposite. We may use phrases like “I’m just a humble sevadar; I’m not worthy of the role I’ve been given.”, While our intention may be pure – we are making an attempt to be humble – the master says that these are just words:
True humility never makes a show nor indulges in humble words.
Maharaj Sawan Singh114
Humility is reflected not in our words, but in our actions, our behaviour. Hazur used to say that calculated and artificial humility is like cosmetic jewellery.115 Instead of impressing our fellow sevadars, excessive expressions of humility might actually make others uncomfortable; they might silently wish we would behave more naturally.
Humility doesn’t mean that we should abase ourselves, put ourselves down, or have a low opinion of ourselves. In fact, there might be ego even in this, because we would still be thinking about ourselves. Humility means to forget oneself completely. It has often been said that true humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.
True humility is not something we can create. It is an outcome of seva and meditation. Hazur explains how meditation has this effect:
Because you see that light of the Father in everyone and you know your insignificance before the Father, everybody becomes superior to you…. When that realization comes, we don’t see humans at all, we see his light in every human. We become humble before the Father. Then the question of hurting someone doesn’t arise at all; the question of condemning anybody doesn’t arise at all; the question of feeling superior to anybody doesn’t arise at all.116
Humility is the outcome of years of meditation. Yet, despite knowing this, mystics still tell us again and again to serve with humility. Clearly there must be something we can do right now! Indeed, there are small but important steps we can take today to do our seva with a less egotistical attitude. Keeping in mind our status in relation to the Lord, the master, and other struggling souls, we can simply keep doing our best to please our master and our brothers and sisters with our seva.
Leaving ego at the door
During one of master’s visits, a sevadar was told, “You stand here
and make sure that men go to the right and women go to the left.” The
sevadar did as he was told, taking his job very seriously. The
line-up for entrance into the satsang flowed in an orderly fashion – men
to the right and women to the left. After some time, someone came
running up to him and said, ,“You are needed very urgently by so-and-so.
You have to go right now and see him.”
The sevadar responded, “I can’t, I have my seva to do. I’m supposed to be separating the line.”
“Don’t worry about that,” the person said to him. “Go and solve this other thing right away. I’ll see to the line.”
The sevadar went off to tend to the other business, all the while concerned that he was needed at his seva post. When he was finally done, he rushed back to the spot he had been asked to abandon. He found that a potted plant had been placed where he had been standing, and that men were going to the right and women were going to the left. That’s when he realized his own importance: master could get his work done by a potted plant!
Incidents like this make us realize that ‘I’ am doing nothing. The Lord is getting things done and we are just his instruments.
The more you help others, the better; but be on your guard that in doing this work there is an idea of service to the master only, and not a shadow of pride crosses your mind. Think that whatever is being done, he is doing it and not we.
Maharaj Sawan Singh117
Before Maharaj Sawan Singh became the master, he had donated some money in seva and then wrote to his master Baba Jaimal Singh that he hadn’t mentioned to anyone about giving the money because he didn’t want to feel proud. Promptly came the master’s reply:
You write that you haven’t talked with anyone about money so that you may not become proud. What is there to be proud of, my son?118
Similarly, when Hazur was visiting South Africa, a young lady in the audience asked him, “Master, how can we be humble?”
Hazur replied, “Sister, what is there to be proud of?”
Indeed, what is there to be proud of? If we have the means to do seva, it is his gift. If we have the health to do seva, it is his gift. If we live in an atmosphere conducive to seva and have the opportunity to do it, these too are his gifts. We may be brilliant, but every flash of inspiration and every great idea comes from him. Even the desire to seek seva comes from him. He is both the giver and the doer of seva. Once we understand this, we will realize there is nothing to be proud of. The more we become conscious that our talents, skills, and opportunities are gifts from the Lord, the more humble we will become.
A branch laden with fruit bends towards the ground.
Sheikh Sa’adi119
If we are not careful, however, seva has the potential to inflate our ego – which is ironic, because the whole purpose of seva is to subdue the ego. But ego can manifest in many ways: we may feel offended if someone criticizes our efforts or disappointed if we don’t get the praise we believe we deserve; we may become attached to a particular seva; we may have a ‘my way or the highway’ attitude about how things should be done; we may get furious with another sevadar for encroaching on our seva; or we may be tempted to boast about our accomplishments.
Can we recognize in ourselves the ego we see in others? It is our ego that causes us to have angry or hurt feelings. It is our ego that judges. When we bring our ego with us into seva, it comes at a price: we risk peace and harmony in our life and in the lives of others.
haumai sabha ganat hai
gantai nau sukh naahi.In egotism, all must account for their actions.
In this accounting there is no peace.
Guru Amar Das120
As sevadars, we should learn to develop a thick skin. We should learn not to react and get upset if another sevadar or member of the sangat says something hurtful or in anger. As we learn to brush things off and not take them personally, we are beginning to chip away at the ego.
Occasionally we may develop a sense of pride about how hard we are working at our seva, or how good we are at our seva, or even feel that the seva could not be managed without us. This of course is natural until we are able to bring our ego under control. As good sevadars we would not voice such thoughts. However, we cannot hide them from the one who resides within, and sooner or later, if we do not overcome such tendencies ourselves, we will be brought down to earth for our own good.
The purpose of seva is to create humility and meekness within ourselves, not to achieve any leadership, to show our superiority over others, to boss others.
Maharaj Charan Singh121
While ego holds sway over all of us, sevadars in leadership roles have to be more vigilant because they can become more vulnerable to its influence. The sangat and sevadars sometimes put seva leaders on a pedestal, and this can create a real test of the ego. During a satsang at the Dera in 1987, Hazur spoke with deep disappointment about the attitude of seva leaders; yet, with his characteristic humility and compassion, he took responsibility for their behaviour entirely upon himself:
Often, old satsangis come and tell me, “You lay so much stress on humility and seva, so why do you not teach it to your staff members? They do not even greet each other with a loving Radha Soami, not to say of listening to our problems.”
When I hear such things, I also wonder what the matter is. All the members of the Dera staff are good, hard-working people and they have great love for the Dera. In their working life, they have held senior and responsible positions and have come here after retirement.
Then it occurred to me that in the times of the Great Master and Sardar Bahadur Ji, the office-cum-residence consisted of only two small rooms – one in the back and another at the front. In the back room, Rai Sahib Har Narayan used to live, and after him, Rai Sahib Munshi Ram. Their office consisted of one room only. For their work, they had just a small wooden platform on the verandah. And for fifty or sixty years they carried on their work while sitting on that dais, which was covered only by a thin cotton mattress.
Now I have built an elegant secretariat. All officers have their own independent rooms with marble flooring. They are provided with all facilities. And they have been given chairs of authority. But from their earlier positions of authority during their working days, they have come straight to the Dera and occupied their chairs here. Perhaps it is entirely my fault that I did not give them an opportunity to learn what seva at the Dera really means and what seva actually is. Seva consists of humility, of dedication.122
If we wait to become humble before we begin doing seva, we will never begin. Seva is there to help us become humble. A disciple once asked Hazur, “If we are trying to do seva for our sangat, and we notice that we are so full of pride that even our attempt at seva has a lot of ego attached to the result or to the satsang we give, should we give up that seva until we can be more detached?” Hazur replied:
We should give up that ego rather than the seva. Seva will help you to create humility sooner or later. But give up the ego which you think is attached to your type of seva. By running away from the situation, we don’t solve any problem. We have to tackle the situation.123
So when we come for seva, we can practise leaving our ego at the door and enter simply as sevadars of the Lord.
Honouring the master’s guests
At a large satsang centre, sevadars were preparing for the sangat’s
arrival prior to a satsang programme scheduled to last several days. A
head sevadar addressed them with these words:
At a satsang such as this, the master is the host, the sangat are his invited guests, and sevadars are the servants in the master’s house. By serving his guests we have a chance to please our master. As servants in the master’s house, our needs become his concern, which will make us carefree.124
When the master visits, the work increases exponentially because great numbers of people come to see him. There is an atmosphere of anticipation and excitement. Sevadars have a lot to accomplish. Cars and buses have to be parked, families guided to the children’s area and taken care of, the elderly and infirm made comfortable, food and tea served, and members of the sangat guided into the satsang hall or enclosure so they can be seated in an orderly and timely way. Emotions run high. People want to sit as close to the master as possible. Depending on the size of the sangat, the logistics can be quite complicated, and difficult situations can develop quickly.
As sevadars, when we are challenged to our limits, how do we respond? Surely the master would want the sangat to feel they have entered a haven of peace when they come to the satsang. We are responsible for this ambience – and we represent the master. When we smile and greet the sangat, they feel welcomed and they will want to cooperate with us. When we take the time to respond to people’s questions and concerns with kindness, they feel the master cares about them. There is a saying among sevadars in India: mooh band rakhna hai aur jhuk jhuk ke seva karna hai, meaning: Speak less, and bow low and serve.
The way to God is firstly humility, secondly humility and thirdly humility.
Maharaj Sawan Singh125
There may be occasions when certain members of the sangat don’t understand the guidance of sevadars or simply don’t want to comply. At times like this it’s good to remember that they are our master’s honoured guests and then look for a way to win them over. The key is to treat each member of the sangat with respect, whether we think they are doing the right thing or not.
As sevadars we perform a delicate balancing act. It is our duty to see to the comfort of the sangat and ensure that reasonable needs and requests are met. At the same time, a degree of discipline and firm direction is necessary so that large numbers of people may be accommodated in a fair and safe manner. Some rules may seem irksome to a few, but ultimately they benefit everyone. It is our responsibility to ensure that guidelines we are given are followed.
It is a fine art to give directions without imposing one’s own will, personality, and sense of self-importance on the sangat – and to do so without getting upset when instructions are not followed. Ultimately, we don’t want anything we do to reflect poorly on the master or his teachings or to detract from the sangat’s joyous experience of being in the master’s house.
Being invisible
A wise sevadar once said, “The best organization doesn’t
show” – meaning that things should be so thoroughly planned beforehand
and implemented so smoothly that the sangat doesn’t even realize how
much organization has gone into it. When things are well planned, there
is less reason to scurry about at the last minute and less cause to
distract or disturb the sangat.
The goal is to be an invisible sevadar. We should never make a show of ourselves. We should try to be invisible in terms of coming between the sangat and the master, yet we need to be everywhere when the sangat needs help, guidance, or direction. This attitude can’t suddenly appear in us when the master visits; it is something to be practised and honed over time.
Being non-demanding
A disciple reminisced that once, when he was accompanying Hazur
Maharaj Ji on his evening walk in the Dera, they passed a sevadar who
was cleaning and painting the rooftops of various houses. Hazur
commented that this was “true seva.” He added, “He selects sites that
are not visited by people so he can go unnoticed. That sevadar is a
non-demanding type.”
The disciple asked him to clarify what he meant by “non-demanding.” Hazur replied, “He does not ask me for anything. It is a unique quality not to ask for anything.”
What makes us miserable is our wishes, our demands, our ambitions, our desires. When they are not fulfilled, we become miserable.
Maharaj Charan Singh126
We know that demands, desires, and ambition have no place in seva. So we do our best to be non-demanding sevadars. We should not be choosy or selective in seva. We should not put conditions on seva. Seva is seva; we should take what is offered and give thanks for it.
Be not among those who demand miracles. Rather, be content with working as a humble servant, without thought of reward. This bondage is not of man binding himself to man, but of the heart binding itself to Truth.
Ibn ‘Ata’ Allah127
Being humble doesn’t mean that we should never make suggestions in seva. It is fine to request something that we consider to be needed and helpful. If we don’t ask when we need something, and if we don’t point out a problem, how would anyone come to know that a problem exists? But there is a difference between a request and a demand. Also, what we consider to be a reasonable request may not seem so to others. If the decision taken is not to comply with our request, we should gracefully accept the decision. The following is a gist of Baba Ji’s address to sevadars during the construction of a large satsang centre. While this is a paraphrase, it clearly reflects that he wants us to approach our seva without any conditions:
We all come here to do seva, which is very good, but how we do that seva is important. We should not lay down any conditions when we come to do seva. Whatever arrangements have been made you should accept them as they are. Whatever they do here, they ask me about it first. I am aware that not all your wishes can be met when you come here, but this centre is new and we are still concentrating on trying to do major works. There will come a time when things will improve. This property is not mine, neither is it any individual person’s. It is the property of the whole sangat. If we get extra guests at home we sometimes have to make do. We can’t always offer the facilities we wish to. We make do with sleeping on the floor or rearranging the beds and spending one or two days in less comfort than normal. Similarly, if you have to do this when you come to the centre, it shouldn’t matter.
When you come to do seva here you should offer yourselves unconditionally and let the organizers decide how best to use your services. If someone says something to upset us we should not respond in a similar way. If we respond in this manner we are creating karmas for which we will have to pay. Instead we should think of it as having burnt off some karmas.
Keeping it simple
The master constantly reminds us to keep things simple in seva. When
the construction of the Dera hospital in Beas was being planned, the
architects kept presenting the master with beautiful modern designs and
facades. To the frustration of the architects, Hazur rejected all of
them. Then he gently explained, “The hospital is not for you and not for
me. It is for the simple people who will come for treatment. So we don’t
want the building to look intimidating or strange, no matter how
beautiful it may be.”128 The master was
clarifying that the purpose of centres and hospitals is to be of
practical use to the sangat, not to be aesthetically impressive or to
showcase our superior skills.
Taking our lead from the master, we can keep things simple, too. Speakers can practise expressing the teachings in a simple way in satsang. The same is true of books and translations. Authors and translators of books and articles can make their best effort to present the material in a simple and clear way. The master teaches us by example that the purpose of shabds, books, magazines, and satsangs is to inspire us to meditate and to fill our hearts with love for the Lord, not to display our command of the language, our knowledge of the subject, or our oratory skills.
Life is so simple but we people create so many problems and complications, that we spend the whole of our life in solving them. [I] do not know when we are going to learn to take simple things in a simple way.
Maharaj Charan Singh129
Handling criticism and praise
How can we know if we are growing in humility? We can observe
ourselves when we are tested either by criticism or praise.
For instance, when someone in the sangat or a fellow sevadar criticizes us, how do we react? Does our ego rear its head, or are we able to respond with composure and kindness? Our behaviour – our response – reflects our degree of humility. When things are going well or when our seva is complimented, it is easy to bow and say humble words. But when our seva is criticized or when someone is unkind, it is much more difficult to accept it with grace.
In the worldly sphere, praise is sought after and criticism is avoided, but on the spiritual path criticism is considered beneficial; it knocks us off our pedestal and makes us humble. Praise, on the other hand, feeds our ego and can go to our head. In seva, when we sense that either criticism or praise is about to come our way, it is to our benefit to become instantly alert and conscious of how we want to respond.
When someone criticizes us we can listen with an open mind. If there is something we can learn from it, we should.
Why should we be touchy? Let them say whatever they feel like. They’ve every right to comment and you have every right to reserve your judgement. Don’t be affected by what they say. As Great Master often said, you can’t pick up the thorns of the world but you can definitely wear shoes. You can’t make them quiet, but definitely you can be indifferent to what they say.
Maharaj Charan Singh130
We may have a ‘why me?’ attitude when we are criticized; but critics don’t spare anyone, including the great mystics, who take criticism with such humility. Hazur used to say that critics are our best friends because they keep us on our toes; they keep us honest:
Brother, we should not mind anybody’s criticism at all. I can tell you, critics are the best guide in life. We should always keep our ears and eyes open to our critics. We must weigh their criticism without any ill will towards them. If it has any weight, we should try to learn from that criticism and try to improve ourselves. If it is just for the sake of criticizing, you can just ignore it.131
Praise is trickier to handle because it feels good. In seva we may compliment sevadars when they do a good job, because it reaffirms that they are on the right track and encourages them to continue. But it is never wise to go overboard with compliments. We should remember that flattery and sycophancy do not help anyone. The challenge, of course, is for the recipient of a compliment. When someone praises our seva we might respond, “It’s all his grace,” or “I’m not capable,” or “I didn’t do it; he does everything,” or words to this effect. There is no harm in saying these words, because they can serve as a reminder to us that he is the doer – but ultimately they are just words. When we are praised, what matters is not what we say but what we think and feel. Do we believe he is the doer?
When it comes to handling praise, a thirteenth-century Indian mystic offers a clue:
We should never hear our own praise,
and when anyone praises us,
we should merge our consciousness
inwards, in God.
Nivrittinath132
There may still be times, however, when we can’t avoid hearing praise. We should be able to accept a compliment gracefully, responding with a simple “Thank you.” A little simran will help us to avoid absorbing the praise.
Humility does not consist in hiding our talents and virtues, or in thinking of ourselves as being worse than we are, but in realizing that all we are, and all that we have, are gifts bestowed upon us by God.
J. P. Vaswani133
Being anonymous
At times we may feel hurt because we feel that our seva is not
appreciated. Maybe we feel unnoticed. Our feelings are understandable,
because in the worldly sphere we’re conditioned to expect a pat on the
back when we work hard. It takes time to understand that things don’t
work like this on the inner way. Here the master is trying to teach us
humility, not stroke our fragile egos. If someone acknowledges our
efforts, it is all right, but we should not expect to be
thanked – this is not why we do seva.
In the same vein, speakers’ names are not announced at satsang, because it doesn’t matter who gives the satsang. And after satsang we don’t tell the sangat to give a big round of applause to the construction team who just built a new shed. We have no idea of the scores of unknown sevadars who quietly work behind the scenes unnoticed to complete the projects and tasks by which the sangat benefits.
We don’t know the names of the cooks who prepare the food in the langar, or the farmers who contribute the grain and vegetables from their own land, or even the truck drivers whose seva it is to transport these ingredients to the satsang centre. Throughout the world, countless sevadars perform seva as doctors, architects, construction workers, plumbers, electricians, software engineers, sound engineers, accountants, lawyers, gardeners, purchasers, cooks, cleaners, traffic sevadars, and ushers. They all work together in an intricate web designed to help and support the sangat. They are all nameless. This is seva. This is the way of the masters.
The sage wants to uplift the people.
The people want to follow the sage;
Only by being low does this come to be.
The sage bows to the people.
The people bow to the sage.
And when they lift their heads
Only greatness remains.
Tao Te Ching134