Doctor, Lawyer, or Engineer? What about Artist, Teacher, or Carpenter?
Your exam scores are outstanding (or just average, or below). Your parents are bragging (or not). You expect to get into a prestigious university (no way). Any way you look at it, you’re under pressure to be a success.
Depends on what ‘success’ means, doesn’t it? Success isn’t only about what you can show to everyone else – getting into a top school, great grades, class leader. It’s about your happiness. It’s about how you deal with your problems. About being positive. Okay, not always. But often.
Your parents’ boasting is embarrassing. That prestigious university just seems like more pressure and isn’t nearly as appealing as the interesting school you’d really like to attend. Or the gap year you’re eager to take. You’re sick of preparing for a career your family wants you to have. You want to be happy, and what makes you happy doesn’t make your parents happy.
You’d like to please yourself instead of your parents. But that’s a scary idea. You love ’em. They have your best interests in mind, don’t they? They believe that the higher status your career has, the more money you make, the more successful you’ll be. The family will all be proud. You’ll contribute economically. Their friends will be a little envious.
Check out “Before You Feel Pressure – WATCH THIS” by Jay Shetty: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v= bSL9oJOQ7Rs
Redefine success. And talk to your family.
Share your dreams.
Money and a prestigious career do not equal success.
You can’t be both successful and unhappy. If you’re unhappy – not just feeling down for a few weeks but seriously dissatisfied with your life – then you’re not successful. Doesn’t matter if you earn big bucks, drive a hot car, go on exotic vacations, live in a fancy home. If you’re not happy with your family, your job, yourself, you’re not successful.
If you don’t get along with your co-workers, dislike your boss, dread going to work – you may be an astronaut or a brain surgeon, but you aren’t successful. If you have no hobbies, few interests outside your job, few friends, and lonely weekends, it doesn’t matter if you’re pulling down half a million a year, you’re not successful.
Nice that the opposite is true, too. If you earn just a little more than you need to pay the bills, even if no one’s impressed with your wheels, if your vacation budget is tight, if your house needs work or your university isn’t prestigious but you’re happy, you’re successful. You have friends. You like hanging out at home, maybe going to a restaurant, hiking, playing football, riding bikes, visiting museums, taking a picnic to the park. You’re interested in what you do for a living, or at least enjoy being with your co-workers. You do things on the weekend that you enjoy. You care about your family and keep in touch with them. You focus on your strengths and appreciate your blessings.
Sounds like a very good life.
How do you get your family on board with the idea that you don’t want to go for the career they’re encouraging – maybe insisting on? How do you say that you respect them, but no?
The answer is probably different for every person, but here’s a few thoughts to help you:
Speak respectfully. Be willing to show how you feel as well as what you think. All the better if you can tell them you love them. Help them understand your definition of success. Let them know that they’ll always have your support – financially, emotionally – with health issues and family crises.
Ask them if doing exactly what their parents wanted made them happy. (The truth is, it can be tough to figure out our path in life, but we’re less likely to find it by agreeing to the route another person wants for us. The surest way is to listen to our own heart).
Remind them that the world is full of wonderful ways to earn a living. You might want to build or maintain engines. Or fly a helicopter. Teach kindergarten. Own a bookstore. Be a dancer, psychologist, journalist. Rather than being a pharmacist, maybe you want to study archaeology. Instead of engineering, drama might grab your attention. Maybe you want to be a travel agent, or work on a cruise ship, or help build hospitals in impoverished nations.
Or maybe you don’t have a clue what you’d like. Head to your school’s career counselor for more ideas. Perhaps you could take a chance and volunteer or get an internship in a field you never considered before. You’re up for adventure, right? Who knows where a summer job could lead? And your efforts to find and do work will help your parents take you seriously.
If your family won’t budge and you end up studying a subject you don’t enjoy at a school where you don’t fit in – don’t despair. You won’t be the only one. It won’t be forever, and the education will very likely be useful in your life, even if you change careers. Plenty of people these days do that. In fact, that’s the norm. As economies shift, families move from one place to another and new kinds of careers develop, you’ll have different choices and opportunities.
The point is that you have a big world out there to experience, explore, and enjoy. Be curious and kind, take responsibility, and give respect. Earn money honestly, take care of yourself and your family, and be generous with others.
Success isn’t having one of only a few professions; it’s being a good human being.
Careers of the Future
3D Printed Clothing Fashion Designer. Smart Contact Lens App Developer. Driverless Car Mechanic. Nano-medic. Urban Agriculturist. ‘Green’ Living Expert. DNA Scientist. And many, many more!