Anticipation
The opportunity to see the Master in his physical form gives us something to look forward to. The minute we know that we will be able to spend a few days with him, we mark it down on our calendars, and from then on, the countdown begins. Our minds become absorbed in the thought of our beloved, and we constantly find ourselves in a world of our own. We imagine the various scenarios that could unfold when we are with him. Hundreds and thousands of thoughts occupy our mind and we secretly hope that something out of the ordinary will happen.
From the moment we mark that date down on the calendar, we start becoming his ‘good’ children. We attend to our meditation more regularly, we focus more on our seva, and above all, we get so immersed in the anticipation of it all, that we start to worry less about our worldly activities. Gossip takes a backseat in our lives – it is no longer as important who wears what, and who said what to whom. Desires for a bigger house, a better car and more wealth disappear temporarily, as we now desire only him. Slowly but surely, we try to become true to the word ‘disciple’.
This feeling is what we all seek on a permanent basis. Especially after a trip to the Dera or when the Master visits us for a few days, we convince ourselves that we will make this feeling last. It is unfortunate, though, that no matter how much we desire it, somehow after a few days back into our daily routine, the feeling just fades away.
Perhaps it is the depth to which we are involved in our materialistic lives that causes this sudden change. Or perhaps it is because we depend so much on the Master’s physical form that our minds only allow us this feeling when we know we are going to see him.
The saints have used the relationship of a parent and child to describe the bond between Master and disciple. Many times, in their satsangs, they have explained how dependency pulls a child down. The love of a parent is meant to help a child grow in confidence and eventually become independent. However, if the relationship becomes one of dependency, then that child will never be able to stand on his own feet. The same applies to us with our Master. He gives us that love, but the whole objective of him doing this is so that we can be inspired to meditate and seek him within. Only then will that feeling, which we are all trying so desperately to achieve, become permanent.
The question to ask ourselves is: how badly do we want it? If we remember just for an instant how that feeling entirely transforms us and inspires us, then yes, we want it. We should want it. The real form of our Master is his Shabd form and to create that permanent love, that is what we really need to seek. It is time to graduate to a higher level of love and experience a state that thus far we have only heard about – one that we know will truly surpass the imagination. Maharaj Charan Singh summarizes it beautifully in Legacy of Love:
May your love for the form
culminate in the love of the formless.