Happiness
“Thank God it’s Friday!” Isn’t it funny how much emphasis we put on the weekend? For most of us it’s the saving grace after a long hard week.
- Monday: The start of the working week. Ugh!
- Tuesday: Could the weekend be any further away?
- Wednesday: Halfway through, the countdown begins.
- Thursday: It’s nearly Friday, just one more day to go.
- Friday: We’re finally off to enjoy ourselves.
Of course, this is an exaggeration; not everyone struggles through the week, and not everyone enjoys the weekends. Most of us are so reactive that any number of reasons can get us down; it could be something as mundane as bad weather or something more serious such as poor health or family problems. This leaves me wondering: Must we resign ourselves to feeling glum – at least some of the time – or is it possible to be happy all the time?
Where does happiness come from? What is it that delivers happiness? Can we buy happiness or get it from a birthday or Christmas present? And why do we single out special occasions to be happy? Given that we feel able to nail happiness at these particular times, shouldn’t we feel able to do this every day? So many questions! Let’s take them one at a time, beginning with what is happiness?
Happiness is characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfilment and its key feature is that it comes from within. Biologically, we experience happiness each time our body releases one of three happiness hormones. For instance, our brain produces dopamine, and that makes us feel good about ourselves whenever we’ve achieved something. If we’re in pain, our body releases endorphins as a way of relieving our pain naturally and reducing high stress levels. Then there’s serotonin, known as the ‘happy chemical’. This regulates our mood and sense of well-being so that when our serotonin level is low, we’re more likely to be anxious and depressed. The point is that, even from a biological perspective, the key to happiness lies within.
Why then all the confusion about the nature of happiness? Well, we have our materialistic and outwardly focused mindset to thank for that. However, Sant Mat teaches us to focus internally so that gradually our meditative practice can detach us from the material world and help us realize our true nature as spiritual beings. Will this make us happy? How does meditation affect our infinite wants?
The shift from desiring external stimuli to emptying our minds doesn’t match up with our (as yet) outwardly oriented nature. Nonetheless, with time, practice, patience and determination, our focus improves and, eventually, we’ll not only realize our spiritual self but will unlock within ourselves an ocean of love for the Lord and his creation. By realizing that our true nature is Shabd and that Shabd is present in everything, our love naturally expands to encompass everything in the entire creation.
In Light on Sant Mat, Maharaj Charan Singh reminds us, “This physical body is a rare privilege and opportunity because the main object of life, which is self-realization, can be attained in this human body”. This privilege, however, poses many challenges.
Learning to overcome the idea that fulfilling our hopes, desires, and expectations will make us complete is often a big challenge, but dealing with life’s troubles, how to make ends meet, illness, losing a loved one and heartache – is also challenging. When confronted with such difficulties, we often lose our sense of equilibrium. Preoccupied by unhappiness or anxiety, our meditation shifts from being inward and upward to downwards and outward. Whenever we find ourselves in such a scenario, it’s helpful to remind ourselves of three things: Our time in the present body is temporary; the issues troubling us are both temporary and inconsequential in the grand scheme of things and the source of true happiness lies within. To quote the Bible, 2 Corinthians, “For what is seen is temporary; but the things which are not seen are eternal”. In other words, instead of focusing on our troubles (for they will soon be gone), better to keep meditating because only this and the inner strength we develop with the Master’s help is everlasting. In fact, the Bible includes numerous references to the love and support that the Creator provides, even during the difficult times when our happiness seems far away. The following are some examples:
Psalm 34 informs us: “The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart: and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” Since the Lord resides within us, he is aware of our pain. If we continue to do everything the Master asks of us – irrespective of our pain – we will secure our liberation and become free of such pain. The important point is not to let our “broken heart” keep us from our meditation.
Joshua 1 advises us to: “Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.” Life can be full of challenges, sorrows, and tough decisions, but the Lord is with us constantly. We must not lose heart but submit to the Master’s will and continue meditating.
The Gospel of St. Matthew reassures us with these words: “Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.” Observing and practising the teachings of the Master, ensures that he will remain with us not only though our life but will meet us at death, and be with us throughout eternity. We will know true happiness, a true love that will last forever.
Without connecting with the Lord, we are missing a vital part of our existence – a happiness that will show us who we truly are. Seeking happiness without understanding this is challenging; so much so, we forgo our happiness for things that don’t even exist, i.e. the past and the future. All that matters is what action we take in the present moment. When asked to manage a complex task, don’t we try to break it down into bite-size chunks? For example, when we think about how much food the body needs in a year, do we think about eating it all at once? Thinking of the future in this way doesn’t make sense! No, we think about what we’ll cook this week and what food to buy. There’s no need to worry about the future to the extent that we currently do.
Regarding the past, how can we learn from it if we continue to make the same mistakes? So, how do we avoid losing our happiness to things that aren’t current? The key is staying present and not overwhelming ourselves with memories or future trials. Meditation is what grounds us and keeps us present. Meditation need not feel burdensome. For example, we can get used to doing thirty minutes, forty-five minutes, then one hour, gradually increasing our time to the full two and a half hours. We can focus on the present and address the bite-size chunks in the short term, until they become second nature and easier to manage. Eventually two and a half hours will feel like second nature, a pleasurable break rather than an obligation we have to worry about cramming in to our busy day. Happiness is to be found by living in the moment, and we do this by doing our simran and bhajan – connecting with the divine.
So be happy, whatever the day of the week. Don’t be glum; say goodbye to those weekday blues, because our meditation is bringing us to the realization that we are never alone. We can share a happiness, greater than anything we currently know, with our Master.
Christopher McCandless, an American adventurer, spent years being alone. When close to death, he thought of the moments most special to him and wrote, “Happiness is only real when shared”. Our Master supports us on our journey through this life, so let’s share our happiness with him; enjoy the mystery that each day offers us and see true happiness grow within, where we share it with our Master.