The Value of Longing

Sultan Mahmood saw a phoenix fly by. He told the entire army to go out and try their luck. It is considered good luck if the shadow of a phoenix falls on one’s head. Everyone began running right and left, but he did not see Ayāz among them. He said to himself, “My Ayāz has not gone? I hope that phoenix’s shadow falls upon him.”

He looked around and saw Ayāz’s horse, but he heard moaning and crying, so he bent down to investigate. He saw Ayāz, bare-headed, beneath his horse, crying. He asked, “What are you doing? Why did you not go?”

Ayāz answered, “You are my phoenix and if I seek such a shadow, it would be your shadow. If I had to leave you to get it, why would I want it?”

Mahmood brought him to his side, their shadows mingled, creating a shadow unequalled by the shadow of a thousand phoenixes.
_{Shams-e Tabrizi: Rumi’s Perfect Teacher}

As disciples, everything we have ever looked for in life seems to be embodied in our Master. Nothing makes us as happy as he does. His words soothe our aching hearts, his smile is the antidote to our worries. His gaze conveys an affinity we have never experienced with anyone before.

We know what we feel when we are with our Master does not come just from the intellect or our preconceived notions. There is something about him that taps into the deepest recesses of our being, and whatever this may be, it makes us feel complete.

We understand through the teachings that what we feel in our Master’s presence is just a glimpse of the relationship that we share with our Creator. We can establish that relationship with the Lord, just as the saints do, through devotion to the Shabd. The Master always tells us that the physical form is not the end, but rather the means for us to return to our real self – God.

The object of the body Master is to fill us with love and devotion for the Father, to put us on the path, to create that deep longing to become one with the master. Naturally when the physical master is there, we’re running about, we feel contented, we feel happy. But this is a means to achieve something much higher. Sometimes it is in our interest that we are away from the master. Since we can’t find him outside, we have no other option but to find him within.
_{Maharaj Charan Singh, Spiritual Perspectives, Vol. III}

Our Master inspires us to carry out the journey back to God within ourselves, and he does this by playing an exquisite game of love, longing and separation with us. Separation from one’s Master is the greatest source of pain for a disciple, but also the biggest blessing that he can receive. Unless we miss something, we will never put in the effort to work towards it.

Without longing there is no fuel for love’s fire; there is no motivation to seek the Beloved. This is why, as painful as it may be, longing is needed for us to make the sacrifices that are required to become worthy of union with the Beloved.

Many of us know the joy of being in the physical presence of our Master. We also know the ache of missing him when we are away from him. But in this missing, painful though it may be, is a sharp memory of him that is infinitely preferable to having no memory of him at all.

A lover is usually swamped with the thoughts of the beloved at two particular times; just before his arrival and just after his departure. Distances exist physically, but when the heart is immersed in the thoughts of the beloved, can one truly say that he or she is separated from him?

Mira Bai was in love with her guru. Somebody asked Mira, “Why don’t you forget him? You are so miserable and so unhappy in separation.” She said: “Don’t take this love from me. Take anything from me, but don’t take my love for my guru. I appreciate this separation more than giving it up.” There is pleasure in that love, and at no cost would the lover like to be out of that pain of separation.
_{Maharaj Charan Singh, Spiritual Perspectives, Vol. III}

It is said that the sword of longing cuts both ways; while the heart grows in its capacity for pain, it also grows in its capacity for pleasure. The heart, or in other words, the consciousness, has no limits; the pleasure and pain that we feel in longing are a result of its expansion.

Our Master executes all these moves. We just have to follow his lead; he will give us separation or inspire us with his presence when he thinks it is needed.

Meditation is what will ultimately fan the flame of love that our Master inspires in us.

The more time we devote to meditation, the more we strengthen our love, grow our love, become rich in devotion. I personally think the more time given to meditation, the more pain of separation you feel. And the more pain of separation you feel, the more progress you make within because ultimately this pain of separation will make you one with the Being, with the Lord.
_{Maharaj Charan Singh, Spiritual Perspectives, Vol. III}

The longing we feel for our Master is his gift to us. If we work with it, we will eventually be able to expand our hearts to the point where we realize that we are not the body, the mind or the ego, but rather we are soul. We are that soul which was never separated from the Beloved to begin with.