Understanding Love

Religious scriptures and mystics have often conveyed that love is not just an emotional experience but is the very essence of our being and the intrinsic nature of the creative energy that governs the universe. Maulana Rum eloquently expresses this idea, stating that the current of love from the one God flows through the entire universe. When we look at a person, we are not seeing a human being but a manifestation of divine essence:

The current of love from the one God is flowing through the entire universe. What do you think when you look at the face of a man? Look at him carefully. He is not a man, but a current of the Essence of God (Love), which permeates him.
_{A Certain Kind of Selfishness: Rumi’s Transformation of Sufism}

Our true essence is love, and we are often told that God, too, is love. In this context, we are like drops in the vast ocean of divine love. However, spiritual masters also emphasize that our understanding of love is often limited to the physical realm. This contradiction urges us to explore the conditions that enable us to recognize true love and ponder whether we are capable of being genuine lovers.

In the book Philosophy of the Masters, Vol. II, love is categorized into two types. The first type is based on special qualities, actions, or circumstances associated with an object or person. For example, when a horse is beautiful and has a fast trot, we value it. But when its leg becomes injured, we no longer feel that awe. This love is conditional and tends to fade when circumstances change. Most worldly love falls into this category, driven by our unique perspectives, needs, and preferences.

Saints and mystics have emphasized that worldly and physical love is rooted in selfish needs, even in the closest relationships. This is the Sufi concept of Ishq Mizaazi, which represents the dispositional love determined by our current temperament. On the other hand, Ishq Haqiqi, or true, divine love, transcends material circumstances and originates from the soul itself. This love is unconditional, not contingent on external qualities but rather on the essence of the beloved. To experience this love, we must discard the sense of self, letting go of attachment and preference. We must make enough space in our heart for this divine love to manifest by emptying ourselves of our own desires.

An instance of this loss of self in love is captured in the story “Divine Intoxication” in Tales of the Mystic East, about Lord Krishna and a loving disciple:

Lord Krisha once paid a visit to the house of Vidur. At the time Vidur was not at home and his wife was having a bath. Krishna called out his greetings to Vidur at their door. When his wife heard Lord Krishna’s voice, she was so intoxicated with love that she ran out to meet him, forgetting to cover her body. In this state of divine ecstasy, there is neither sin nor virtue.

“At least put your clothes on,” said Krishna, so Vidur’s wife got dressed.

There was nothing in the house to eat other than bananas. Delirious with joy, she peeled some bananas, handing the peels to Krishna, while throwing away the fruit. Presently, Vidur arrived and saw the folly of his wife’s actions.

“You fool, what are you doing?” he shouted. “Feeding the peels to the Lord and throwing away the fruit?”

“Oh, I didn’t realize,” she answered innocently, and handed the fruit to Krishna.

“Vidur,” said Krishna, “the peel was far sweeter than this fruit.”

This is the condition of those in love.

Saints consider love the currency of spirituality, a gift of meditation. Divine love is earned through selfless actions and obedience to the guru’s commands. We are urged never to become dismayed by our objective conditions, since he is aware of our destiny, which is a result of our own karma. Even our innermost feelings are known to him. Baba Jaimal Singh Ji, in Spiritual Letters, explains how to manifest this mindset practically.

With love and devotion, keep the inner faculties and the higher mind always attached to the Shabd-dhun, and remain content at whichsoever place he keeps you. All work is his work; remain happy wherever he keeps you and take on whatever work you do as the Satguru’s work – do not keep your self in it. Instil it firmly in your mind … that the body, mind, wealth, and the inner faculties, the eyes, mouth, nose, ears, … every article that exists in the world, belongs to the Satguru: “I do not exist.” Look upon everything you do as Satguru’s work; do only that which is appropriate.

Simran and bhajan, the meditative practices on the Sant Mat path, serve as the method to prevent falling into Ishq Mizaazi – worldly love – and the pleasures of the world. Meditation is how we achieve divine union, face our karma, and gain the strength to transcend dualities. As we surrender more and more, good and bad dissolve into one, and we become absorbed in love. This brings with it the gift of peace and happiness that spreads to everyone around us. Maharaj Charan Singh explains the why and how of loving in Die to Live:

Just give yourself to Him. To love somebody means to give yourself without expecting anything in return. To give yourself, to submit yourself, to resign to Him is all meditation. We are losing our own identity and our individuality and just merging into another being. We have no expectation then…. In love you don’t exist. You just lose yourself, you just submit yourself, you just resign to His Will…. The more we give, the more it grows, the more we lose ourselves, the more we become another being.

So, we are invited to love the unchanging and indestructible Truth rather than temporary worldly attachments. This true love leads to everlasting union, transcending maya or illusion and fulfilling our quest for divine love and our return home.