A Perspective on Emotion
Imagine the pleasure of living without excessive emotion. Sounds too good to be true? Emotions are part of our system of responding to the world. Without them we’d be like robots. Music wouldn’t move us. Loss wouldn’t affect us. Nothing would bring us to tears or make us fall down laughing.
The aim is not to become emotionless, but to manage their effects on us. We need to develop the ability to tame our emotions, or better, to detach from them. We often don’t see them for what they are – just thoughts. Recognizing them, and detaching from them can prevent our emotions from controlling us.
True detachment comes ultimately from our meditation. Meditation is the magic that can help us manage the emotional reactions that arise within us. It helps us keep a balance.
Our emotions are erratic and dynamic because they are linked to thoughts generated by our mind. The process is continuous – changing from moment to moment, often without our awareness. Uncontrolled emotions can wreak havoc and spread pain throughout our lives.
That is where meditation comes in. It doesn’t make us emotionless – it makes us aware of our emotional reactions and enables us to control them so that we are not unduly affected by them. In Awareness of the Divine the author writes:
When the mind is burdened by thoughts and emotions associated with material existence, the essential inner spirit is forgotten. Though this spirit is the source of life, awareness of its presence becomes lost amid the demands of everyday existence.
Confronting the mind is the most formidable task we will ever undertake, and we should be aware of its power when we challenge it. We will never conquer our mind and the emotions it stirs up in us without our Master’s grace and considerable effort from our side.
We are plagued by numerous emotions, some so subtle that we don’t even recognize them. Whatever situation we face, our rapidly shifting emotions change the way we feel and think, disrupting our concentration and focus. The only way to transcend or conquer emotion is to raise our consciousness to the eye centre.
The spiritual journey is characterized by change; change that leads to personal spiritual growth, culminating in enlightenment. It requires that we make changes in every aspect of our lives, such as our lifestyle, thinking, actions and beliefs. As we make these changes, our meditation becomes more fruitful. The path becomes more real to us, and we become more aware of our emotions and their effect on us.
We may then consciously try to control emotions such as fear, irritability or anger, because we are acutely aware of their harmful effects on both ourselves and others. Strong emotions like anger and fear can flare up suddenly and unexpectedly make themselves felt, sometimes even violently.
We are very aware of our limitations and weaknesses on the spiritual path. When this was put to Maharaj Ji, he explained:
When you’re on the Path and meditating, you don’t become worse than before; you become more aware of your weaknesses.… And when you become conscious of them, naturally you are ashamed of them, and that makes you want to get rid of them.
Die to Live
Different events, situations and mental activities trigger different emotions in us. When we receive good news we feel happy, possibly even exuberant; when something unpleasant happens we feel distressed and unhappy; when we are threatened we feel fear. We often make decisions based on whether we are happy, angry, sad, bored, or frustrated, but those decisions are not necessarily the right ones.
We tend to accept our thoughts as facts when we constantly regurgitate them, and then marry them with associated emotions that produce a turbocharged unnatural response, which in turn derails us. Being aware of our internal thermometer and what triggers its fluctuations can help us control our mental state, which ultimately helps us to manage stressful situations better.
Understanding the effect emotions have on us can help us navigate life with greater ease and stability. Understanding the nature of emotion gives us a level of self-control that helps us not be victimized by excessive emotion.
Our desire on the spiritual path is for peace and spiritual growth. Outbursts such as anger are unsettling and disturbing – especially since we meditate in the hope of creating an environment of equanimity, composure and self-control. Loss of control is inconsistent with spiritual growth.
While we strive to pursue the spiritual path to the best of our understanding, we need to accept that until we reach the eye centre varying emotional situations will occur that will be disruptive, painful and unsettling. We cannot map, plot and predict what situations karma will deliver to us, but if we stay balanced and keep our eye on the compass guiding our emotions, we will come through most situations calmly, irrespective of karmic circumstances.
It also helps to remember that our destiny was determined before we took birth, and that the Master is guiding us through karmic situations that cannot be changed. But with practice and simran, we can control our emotional reactions. To develop self-restraint we can follow the advice given in the book Essential Sant Mat:
The Master explains that we can withdraw our attention from our powerfully distracting thoughts and emotions by replacing the constant replaying of these thoughts and emotions with a more powerful, innerdirected, form of repetition. This is called simran.
It’s unfortunate that when we experience fluctuating emotions, we tend to forget that remembering our simran and the Master can help us maintain our balance.
We’re standing now before the formidable mind like the Biblical David before Goliath. We may have imagined that, like David with his slingshot, we could quickly overpower the mind. But we soon discover that although the purpose of meditation is to turn our attention inwards and gain control over the mind, this is a lifelong struggle.
In meditation we may try to still the mind and focus our attention within, only to find that the mind has the continuous upper hand with its habit of running out through our scattered thoughts, emotions, perceptions and sensations. When we continue to repeat the same thoughts and memories, we are like wind-up toys, repeatedly bumping into the same walls, never realizing there may be an open door just to our left or right. That open door is simran.
We are mostly unaware of this frustrating habit of repetitive thinking because it is so ingrained in us. But we can interrupt our repetitive thoughts and emotions by creating new grooves in the mind with simran, which is simply a different form of repetition.
As we negotiate our way through the karmic entanglement we call life, we often don’t know which course to take or what lies ahead. We don’t have lookouts and physical guides to steer us on the right course. Instead, we have emotions like fear and anxiety, which do nothing but cause confusion and paralysis.
Now we’re discovering that our own efforts to control our thoughts and emotions often fall short. To become detached from them we have to rely on the grace and guidance of our Master. When we come to the spiritual path, its magnificence captures and enchants us. We embark on it with awe and wonder, ready to take on whatever the path demands of us. But it is unquestionably the Master himself who captivates us and draws us to himself. We can trust him and his promise to support us and be with us throughout our journey to eternity.