Taking Refuge in the Master

We live in a troubled world, and consequently, we all have troubles to work through. There are times when a loved one passes away, when we may be struggling with illness, or when it seems as though our family is falling apart. There are even periods when our spiritual life feels dry, and we feel forsaken.

And yet, believe it or not, we should be thankful for these difficult times. Maharaj Charan Singh often referred to adversity as a blessing in disguise, for it is then that we are pulled closer to the Lord. As harsh as it may sound, a death in the family, financial difficulties, illness or humiliation are all signs of his grace because grace is anything that turns us towards the Lord.

From our perspective, we may define grace as being given a good partner, a comfortable home, a prosperous life, and so on. But the saints have a different concept of grace. Maharaj Ji explains:

He may take your wife from you or your child or your friend. And you may become frustrated by this world and turn back to the Father. That may be his grace, to pull you out of all the attachments of the world and make you realize the reality which you never would have thought about otherwise. You were so much engrossed in your own love, your achievements and your own wealth that you have practically forgotten him. That is not his grace. His grace is what pulls you back to him, and that may be a very bitter pill.
_{Spiritual Perspectives, Vol. I}

In times of adversity we can keep our balance by holding on to our love for the Master, even if our love for the Master seems weak or non-existent.

There may also be periods when we are going through difficulties and are unaware of his presence and love. At these times, we look for comfort in the people who are close to us. But life teaches us that to expect perfect love in human relationships is folly because human love is short-lived. The love that is permanent is the love between Master and disciple, which, in truth, is the love between the Lord and the soul.

How do we grow in this kind of love? Maharaj Ji gave a simple answer in Spiritual Perspectives, Vol. II: “In love we always give.… It is just giving and giving.” Love means to give, to the point of removing the self.

The only things we really have to give are our time and attention – our daily two and a half hours of meditation practice. Nonetheless, it is a gesture of our love and gratitude.

In almost every question-and-answer session there is someone who expresses their gratitude to the Master. This is how Maharaj Ji responded to such words of thanks:

Actually, we have no words with which to thank him – we cannot thank him at all with this tongue, whatever the Lord or the master does for us in this life. We owe our very existence, all these privileges, just to the Father. This very human birth is nothing but his grace.
_{Spiritual Perspectives, Vol. III}

We owe everything to the immeasurable grace of the Lord and the Master. And, we can express true gratitude in the way that pleases him the most, which is by giving him our attention, effort and love through our meditation.

It is possible, with absolute obedience, to go through our destiny while focusing on our meditation. Difficult, perhaps, yet it is possible. We must make Sant Mat the central theme of our lives, and meditation the absolute core of our existence. Meditation must take precedence over everything that destiny throws our way. This focused practice will bring the changes in attitude and behaviour that will make us the better human beings that the Masters suggest we become. As we undergo these changes, our ego starts to dwindle and our attention shifts to the Master, rather than being focused on ourselves. Ego is the primary obstacle to our spiritual growth.

In Living Meditation, the author compares the ego to a glass bottle filled with water floating in the ocean:

We thought we were the bottle instead of the water. Eventually, the bottle will be smashed by the waves against the rocks and the glass will break. Once the bottle is broken, where is our separate identity? Where is the single drop? It doesn’t exist any more. It has become the ocean.

By transcending the ego we realize that we are, in fact, pure consciousness and limitless love. But we will only experience this reality when we go beyond the ego and merge back into the ocean of the Lord. Simran is critical in achieving this realization, because it is vitally important that we replace worldly thoughts with simran. This will help us conquer the ego, which will release the soul from its bonds. It is our ego that keeps us from experiencing the refuge that the Lord so freely offers.

To rise above the ego is the fundamental principle of love, where the desires of the lover narrow down to living in the will of the Beloved, and the self is dissolved into the Beloved. The fading of the ego loosens the ties of worldly attachment, gradually allowing the soul to transcend the illusion of the world and merge with the Beloved.

A true spiritual seeker may still feel very alone at times because of the intense longing and nostalgia that love for the Lord creates in him. However, an insatiable longing in the heart is the prayer that never ceases. It is this prayer that God answers by drawing the soul closer to him.

Oddly, the closer we come to him, the further we may feel he is from us because the hunger grows. In The Book of Mirdad we read about the great longing or nostalgia:

Like fever also is the Great Nostalgia. As fever, ignited in the body, saps the vitality of the body while burning up its poisons, so this Nostalgia, born of the friction in the heart, debilitates the heart, as it consumes away its dross and every superfluity.

And like a thief is the Great Nostalgia. For as a sneaking thief relieves his victim of a burden, yet leaves him sore embittered, so this Nostalgia, by stealth, lifts all the burdens of the heart, yet leaves it most disconsolate and burdened by its very lack of burdens.

Mikhail Naimy’s description of the Great Nostalgia here paints a desolate picture. But we must not be discouraged because the Lord himself longs for his disciple. He has deliberately created within us an inner desire – a hunger – to know him and find refuge in him. So we meditate, and his heart rejoices when we draw near to him through meditation.

We are not alone on this journey. Even when we feel desolate and it is hard to perceive him, our Master is ever-present. He is our refuge and strength, present in times of trouble. He is more eager for us to be successful in our journey than we are. Life presents us with many challenges, but if we keep holding on to his hand by practising our meditation sincerely, we will always have his shelter and protection.

Responding to a disciple’s concern regarding his fear of losing the atmosphere of the Master’s presence when he is no longer with the Master physically, Maharaj Ji asked: “Are you sure that I am not here when I am not here?” He continued:

If we can just know and understand that we are never alone, that our Master is always with us, we are never without him, then the atmosphere would always be the same. We try to tell ourselves that he is not here when actually he is here. So we have to know that he is always with us.
_{Spiritual Perspectives, Vol. III}